The World Is Not That Bad Of A Place

Things have had happened to me. Not necessarily bad things to normal standards but it's enough to strip ones soul from ever hoping of a good life again. Luckily, i got over it. Everyday is a struggle between wanting to push forward and live, or give up.

Happy News!

- I got a full time job at Junction City. It's a 90-something bed hospital so smaller than what i'm used to but i'm starting to love it. It's closer to Fort Riley so there's a bunch of Filipinos here. They bring me food and that makes me oh so happy.

- The problem with the bf has been taken care of (for now). It's gonna take us a while, especially with my trust issues but we are getting through with this and just living our lives with each other one day at a time. He also gives me advice with what i should do with school regarding classes, which brings me to the next point.

- I'm going back to school in Spring 2011! I'm soooooo excited. Although enrollment and all that stuff will probably not gonna happen til later on in the year, i am still trying to psych myself out and think about classes and stuff. I did receive this pesky email about taking ESL but i will have to call them about it and give them a piece of my midwestern redneck mind! I've declared my major as Biology and i'm playing with an idea of getting a BA in German too but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it ;). Right now, i'm all about budgeting and trying to pay off most of my credit card bills and saving up for tuition. I'm going to try to make it through my undergraduate's without having to get student loans (i have over $8000 in student loans to pay off still).

Anywhooo... just when i thought that i got a hold of my own future, it hit me with a curve ball. Sometimes i think if it's the World's way of seeing if i can make it and still find a way to do what i always and have been planning to do. Well, suck on it Life. I freakin' win.

Never trust anyone- a poem

The anger is eating my soul,
my heart is torn,
my trust is broken.
You made me believe, dream, love
and now it's all gone.

I hope you are happy.
I hope you think it's all worth it.

You knew of my insecurities,
but you didn't care.
You know the things that upset me, and yet you
do them still.

You are being played, and you let it happen.
Know that i will never betray you like what
you did to me.
Are you two together now laughing at my misery?

She has the face of an angel, with a soul like the devil.
I bet she laughs like a devil too, especially when she
found out i left you.

I hope you are happy
I hope she is happy
If happiness is another person's misery- I hope you two are happy.